3 Ways to Help Your Fellow Gamers Have More Fun

Gaming is epic. You get together with your friends, slay dragons (hopefully) and have a great time. At least that’s the theory, anyway…


How many times have you been at a gaming session, though, and one of the players seems focused on their own fun above all else? You know the kind of person I mean: he doesn’t let anyone else anywhere near the limelight and sulks if the party doesn’t follow his “advice”.

Gaming is a social activity and—if done right—is governed by an unspoken social contract made between friends. Sometimes in our rush to have fun, we can lose sight of this fact. After all, I’ve got a stressful life and need to unwind by killing goblins—right? Of course, the problem with that narrow point of view is that (probably) everyone else at the table has their own stresses and tribulations. They’ve come to the game for the same reason—to relax and forget their stressful day.

The internet is awash with GMing advice about how to run good sessions and how to make sure all the players are having fun. However, comparatively little has been written about how players can help ensure their fellow players have fun.

That’s a bit bizarre—the social contract applies to everyone at the table, after all—as there are far more players than GMs at almost any given table.

So, without further ado, here are some hints and tips to help YOU help your friends have more fun at the table.

Get Perspective

Sadly (for you) you are not the most important person at the table and you don’t have a monopoly on having fun. Everyone at the table has an equal right to have fun.

Don’t be an arse and make a character at odds with one or more of the party. As an example from my own campaign: don’t make a chaotic neutral rogue in a party which already contains two paladins and a lawful good cleric and then spend all your time moaning, “Why are we here, my character wouldn’t do this,” or ”I don’t understand why we turned down the reward for this.”

Also, don’t deliberately make important choices that are going to annoy or irritate your fellow players even if it’s “what your character would do”. If someone is playing a wizard in the party, don’t sunder the enemy wizard’s spellbook because you hate books. (For once, this isn’t an example from my own campaign.)

Appreciate Different Play Styles

Everyone has their own play style. You may love combat and hate roleplaying while your chum loves using stealth and guile over combat to win the day. Be patient; let your friends explore their play style. Of course, some adventures don’t support constant violence and some have no real option for diplomacy (it’s hard to negotiate with zombies, for example) but generally speaking a well designed adventure has opportunities for all play styles.

Remember, just because you would prefer to resolve the situation in some other way, not everyone will agree. Sometimes, you won’t get your own way. Bravely, suck it up.

Share the Spotlight

Would it kill you to let a friend role-play his character just a little bit more or to let someone else take the lead in slaughtering the Evil Giants of Doom? The GM’s focus is limited in a session—he’s probably out-numbered by players. Be generous with the spotlight and patient with your fellow players.

Everyone deserves a go in the spotlight. Stealthy rogues—for example—probably don’t need “help” scouting from the platemail-clad fighter and in most parties the bard should handle the negotiations; he doesn’t need “help” from the cranky, hungover dwarf.

Don’t contest the spotlight with your friends, and when it’s your turn to shine they won’t contest it with you.

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The Final Word

Remember roleplaying—except Paranoia, of course—is a cooperative team pursuit. You win when your friends win. If you struggle to grasp this fact, perhaps you would be better off playing a wargame.

(And finally—of course—don’t touch another player’s dice without permission!)

Published by


Creighton is the publisher at Raging Swan Press and the designer of the award winning adventure Madness at Gardmore Abbey. He has designed many critically acclaimed modules such as Retribution and Shadowed Keep on the Borderlands and worked with Wizards of the Coast, Paizo, Expeditious Retreat Press, Rite Publishing and Kobold Press.

9 thoughts on “3 Ways to Help Your Fellow Gamers Have More Fun”

  1. I think ‘Sharing the spotlight’ is bang on. The way I tend to do this is by presenting the players with something they can personally run with. A romantic entanglement from the upper classes, a rival in magical study, a guild recruitment opportunity – these sorts of things can give spotlight opportunity that’s not restricted to class skills, as fighters shining in combat feels one dimensional. They’re also great fodder for short filler adventures too.

    If after the session they’re mulling over what their choices are, then you’ve extended the game between sessions. They’ll be playing it over in the heads as a memorable moment, and what better compliment is there to a DM than players who reminisce how you made them feel?

  2. “It’s what my character would do.”

    Ye gods, I hate this excuse for acting like a jackass. Players seem to forget (talking about me here too) one very important truth. Characters don’t exist. Players do. Characters only exist insofar as players imagine them. Characters only do what players imagine they do and they only have motivations that players imagine they do. A character “would” do anything a player wants to imagine they “would” do. You don’t get a free pass on being a dildo by blaming it on an imaginary character. You’re the player. You’re in charge.

    *end rant*

    1. +1

      That is possibly the weakest and most over-used excuse I’ve ever heard at the table. My GMing daughter suffers that exact thing routinely with her college group. I forwarded her the article – I’m sure she’ll get a laugh from it!

    2. The irony is that these very same players will hate Pendragon with a passion. How dare the game allow the character to dictate to players what they will do in a given situation…

  3. This why I believe paladins are great for single player games. They are so straightjacketed you can’t do anything fun with them in a real party. Of course there are ways around it and that alone could be the challenge the player desires.

    I’ll give you an example of my past game. I was a LN Fighter and another player was a Paladin. Naturally we fought a lot over how to do things. I was bound to the king not a code so I proposed this. Everytime I go to do something and he said no I would get a yes to counter a no at a later time. By this method he got to go first and it would lead to a total 50% each way of him being restrictive and having to deal with my methods. He said no so I just did what I wanted from that point out.

    It didn’t last long since another player melted the game down with a lot of bs and we haven’t been back to it since.

  4. Excellent article.
    I remember playing a Rogue in a party with a Barbarian. Everytime I tried to sneak or unlock a door the Barbarian would just bash his way through instead!
    Glad to say, he died quite quickly whereas my Rogue didn’t!
    Learning that the game is not all about ‘you’ is one of the hardest lessons for some players.

  5. As usual, you have some truly deep wisdom here. It’s amazing how many times I’ve seen some of my players hog the spotlight because…they can. I’ve made it a habit to make sure everyone gets a chance to shine no matter what their gaming style is. Great article that I’ve shared with 4 fb pathfinder pages. Keep up the great work!

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